The year 2013 had it all, with matches, titles and honours being won as well as lost. DFB.de rounds up the best quotes from football’s winners and losers over this past calendar year.
My father worked for Fischer-Dübel (a home improvements company) for 30 years. I had more toys than you could ever need, so arts and crafts were never a problem for me.
(Builder: Borussia Dortmund coach Jürgen Klopp before the Champions League game in Marseille, speaking about the high number of injuries to his squad that had forced him to create a new team.)
It’s widely known that Jürgen Klopp is the only Bundesliga manager who doesn’t need to wear a mask to frighten the kids at Halloween.
(Cruel: British daily newspaper The Guardian on Dortmund’s coach.)
Absolutely! We’re going shopping an hour before the game!
(Shopping queen: Germany women’s national team coach Silvia Neid when asked whether or not her team would be checking out the city before their final group game at Euro 2013.)
Of course the players can celebrate properly today. There’s still half an hour before the day is out.
(Party-pooper I: Germany coach Joachim Löw speaking at 23.30 on Friday 11 October after the team’s 3-0 win over the Republic of Ireland that secured qualification for the 2014 World Cup.)
A keg of Kölsch is only as big as a Maß of beer at the Oktoberfest.
(Party-pooper II: Germany captain Philipp Lahm speaking when the team celebrated the victory over Ireland with beer in the dressing room.)
I’m a good friend to my players, if they accept what I say.
(The Boss: Bayern coach Pep Guardiola.)
That’s the first thing a 20-year-old learns to do.
(Mr. Reliable: Leverkusen’s Simon Rolfes on his fitness after playing seven games in 22 days.)
Timo Werner is an outstanding talent, and even a bad coach can rarely hold an outstanding talent back.
(Coach: VfB Stuttgart’s Thomas Schneider on his 17-year-old superstar Timo Werner.)
I don’t only make mistakes when we lose; I make them when we win as well.
(Honest: Joachim Löw on his mistakes as a coach.)
Football isn’t like a jukebox where you choose the result. Sometimes you just have to live with a 3-0 scoreline.
(Realist I: Thomas Müller after Germany’s win against Austria in September, having before the game said that 1-0 victories were the best types of successes.)
We all know that I only score every two years. I don’t score in years with odd numbers in them.
(Routine: Philipp Lahm when asked if not scoring on his 100th cap for Germany had taken the shine off a perfect day.)
Age is in your head, and in my head I’ve stayed very young.
(Eternal youth: Germany women’s goalkeeper Nadine Angerer when asked about being the oldest player in Germany’s squad for the European Championships.)
Unterhaching sign killer
(Ambiguous: This headline initially caused concern that the third-tier side had recruited a criminal; in fact they had merely signed youngster Tobias Killer on a two-year contract.)
He’s big, strong and good in the air. And plus it’s a great name to call.
(A dog’s life: Stuttgart goalkeeper Thorsten Kirschbaum on naming his great Dane after former team-mate Demba Ba.
If we qualify, then we have a 20-25 per cent chance. Anyone who thinks it’s higher hasn’t a clue and deserves a five-star award for stupidity.
(Realist II: Reiner Calmund on Germany’s chances of winning the 2014 World Cup in Brazil.)
I’d call it tika-taka-Bavaria.
(Spaniard: Lothar Matthäus on Bayern Munich’s style of play under Pep Guardiola.)
I told him to go out and score one, not two.
(Outrageous: Former Hamburger SV coach Thorsten Fink speaking about substitute Hakan Calhanoglu, who scored twice in the 4-0 win over Eintracht Braunschweig in August.)
Today we did everything – we even scored their goal for them.
(Analyst: Germany striker Max Kruse of Borussia Mönchengladbach speaking after August’s 4-1 victory over Werder Bremen – the goal for Bremen was an own goal by Gladbach’s Havard Nordtveit.)
If you bury your head in the sand after five games, you lose sight of where you need to go.
(Psychologist: Werder sporting director Thomas Eichin criticising the mood in Bremen.)
All an excuse.
(Candid: Bayern sporting director Matthias Sammer criticising the team’s performance after the 2-0 win over Hannover in September.)
153 – I just worked it out.
(Calculator: Jan-Aage Fjörtoft on Sky when asked how much Marco Reus must be worth after Gareth Bale’s 100 million Euro-transfer to Real Madrid.)
I hope my players want to play football in Manchester on Tuesday and not just get Wayne Rooney’s autograph.
(Hopeful: Leverkusen coach Sami Hyypiä before a Champions League game at Manchester United in September.)
He was the nicest visitor I’ve had since Diego Maradona.
(Guest expert: Vincenzo Gerrone, janitor at SSC Napoli, speaking about Jürgen Klopp, with whom he watched part of Dortmund’s Champions League game in September on television at the San Paolo stadium, after Klopp was sent from the stands.)
I won’t reveal any names; that could be embarrassing for Bastian Schweinsteiger.
(Cheeky: German Football Federation President Wolfgang Niersbach when asked which of the players Chancellor Angela Merkel had seen naked when visiting the Germany dressing room after the game against Greece at Euro 2012.)
We had ourselves massaged from head to toe in pine tree lotion.
(Joker: Kaiserslautern coach Kosta Runjaic with a nod to the club’s sponsor – Allgäuer Latschen Kiefer, a company which produces skin lotions derived from pine trees – when asked to comment on the key to his team’s 3-1 win against Hertha BSC in the DFB Cup in September.)
And back we go into amateur mode: a three-step run-up and wallop Into the stands. The end justifies the means.
(Enthused: ARD-Commentator Tom Bartels on a clearance by a Darmstadt player in a cup game against Schalke.)
I wouldn’t like to comment on his it, but maybe he should have a think about it one more time.
(Tight-lipped: Schalke’s Julian Draxler on Germany team-mate André Schürrle’s beard, speaking before the Royal Blues’ Champions League game with Chelsea FC.)
Nine points aren’t going to keep us in the Bundesliga.
(Straight talker: Leverkusen’s Sami Hyypiä after his team began the 2013/14 season with three straight wins.)
